Warrant Officers of the US Army Criminal Investigation Division (CID) arrested former Air Force Vice Chief of Staff James C. “Jim” Slife Saturday night, based on a JAG indictment charging him with “treason” for ordering an abortive airstrike against the Michigan Militia, a patriotic paramilitary organization founded in 1994 by Norman Olson, while serving as commander of the 1st Special Operations Wing in 2013.
Per a CID source, President Donald J. Trump recently unearthed documents showing that Slife, on June 6, 2013, had ordered an AC-130 Specter Gunship, a heavily armed, long-endurance, ground-attack variant of the C-130 Hercules transport, fixed-wing aircraft, to overfly and destroy a militia “training compound” 34 miles northeast of Gaylord. Slife justified the mission by saying the militia had been plotting to murder then-president Barack “Hussein” Obama.
Our source said Slife’s orders held no proof, other than Slife’s word, that the militia had designs on killing Obama. And while it indeed opposed Obama’s encroachment of civil liberties, its membership, all law-abiding firearms owners, merely practiced “SHTF” scenarios on property owned by the militia or its members. But the Obama autocracy loathed free speech and civilian gun owners. The militia had used internet forums, ICQ, IRC, and early Facebook to criticize the Obama regime but never overtly threatened Obama, his transgender husband, or the children, Malia and Sasha, he had purchased from child traffickers to maintain the illusion of belonging to a well-balanced, harmonious family.
Yet their criticism so offended the Dark Lord that he felt unleashing a barrage of 25mm Gatling gun and 40mm Bofors cannon fire upon men, women, and, yes, children who held mock “SHTF” drills in the woods every other weekend was a measured response to vocal disparagement. He had instructed Silfe to obliterate the “rebels” before they became a threat to his democracy.
Slimy Slife, our source said, referred to the Michigan Militia as domestic terrorists. “POTUS says no survivors,” he had written in his orders to the flight crew.
The AC-130 was airborne over Michigan, minutes away from obliterating the Milita’s trailer homes and causing untold death, when the pilots, realizing they were about to commit a horrific war crime, aborted the mission and returned to base.
It’s unclear what punishment, if any, befell the crew, but Obama and Slife made sure the cockpit voice recorder never became a matter of public record.
“Slife is an enemy combatant, and there’s no statute of limitation on war crimes,” our CID source said. “President Trump, after firing Slife, authorized us to arrest him for treason. We picked him off the street a day later. No fuss. No one was hurt. As you might guess, he wasn’t happy, but he’ll have some self-reflection time before his tribunal.”