White Hats on Saturday stormed a warehouse-turned-conference room in which a consortium of recently fired FEMA and FBI agents, USAID employees, and Dept. of Veteran Affairs personnel were plotting to castrate Trump’s presidency and possibly kill Trump and Elon Musk.
The Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, has been on a slash-and-burn mission to cut wasteful spending and inefficient federal workers collecting paychecks for, as DOGE put it, sitting behind desks twiddling their thumbs. Despite court battles, DOGE has successfully wiped out useless agencies, compelled superfluous government employees to accept buyout packages, and furloughed or fired thousands of unessential people in the federal labor force. DOGE’s controversial and wrenching decisions have, unsurprisingly, sparked national outrage—to the point where some felt removing Trump and Musk from the picture would magically change their misfortunes.
On March 6, US Army Cyber Command (ARCYBER) learned that a confederation of terminated workers had created a private internet chatroom in which they treasonously discussed ways of complicating Trump’s term and brainstormed ideas to murder Trump and Musk—who they referred to as “co-president”—to mitigate further erosion of the Constitution.
An ARCYBER source told Real Raw News that this unlikely band of traitors included not only those mentioned above but also recently fired Secret Service agents who had been trained to predict how and when the president moves. The ARCYBER specialists who infiltrated the discussion read myriad messages about efficiently and safely curtailing Trump’s and Musk’s ambitions. Our source said 1,800 people were in the chat on March 6.
“We still don’t know how all these people got together, but they had one mindset–dispose of Trump and Musk. They pitched many ideas back and forth, some crazy, some plausible, and, you know, stuff that could cause much collateral damage,” he said.
The following day, he added, the chat was rife with vitriol and that the participants were emboldened and demanding a call to arms. A person whose screenname was “FUCKUTRUMP” wrote he had rented a “meeting place” in the geographic center of the United States, in Kansas, and encouraged chatters to meet in person, as it was the only effective means of separating keyboard warriors from actual Trump adversaries.
Only 34 of the 1,800 in the chatroom asked for location.
“DM me 8:00 p.m. CST exactly and you’ll have it,” FUCKUTRUMP replied.
At the appointed hour, the screenname “SCREWUTESLA” requested the location. SCREWUTESLA was an ARYCYBER officer who had discretely insinuated himself into the chat room conversations.
He was told to come to the warehouse in McPherson, Kansas, locked and loaded should Trump’s forces discover their agenda. SCREWUTESLA told his contact that although he despised Trump and Musk, he was a pacificist and owned no firearms. “No worries,” FUCKUTRUMP told him, “we’ll have people here that do.”
The ARCYBER officing masquerading as SCREWUTELSA didn’t go to McPherson, but US Marines did.
ARCYBER, our source said, supplied General Eric M. Smith with details of insurgents’ meeting, and that he, having conferred with President Trump and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, sent a 26-man Reconnaissance Sniper Marines platoon to arrest for treason anyone at the warehouse.
Surveilling the warehouse on Saturday evening, the Marines saw only 23 people enter the building, a far cry from the hundreds and thousands espousing desires to end Trump’s presidency and life.
In the warehouse, FUCKUTRUMP was orating a diatribe when windows suddenly shattered and CS gas grenades filled the room.
“They found us. This is our moment, fight, fight, fight,” FUCKUTRUMP, standing behind a lectern, shouted as Marines barged through the doors.
Few had the will to fight. Most hit the ground, coughing, wheezing, and shouting, “Don’t kill us, please,” as the Marines rushed forward.
Three people, gasping for breath, however, had pulled weapons—but they died in a blaze of shame without squeezing off even a single round.
Our source said the Marines apprehended the rest.
“What this shows us—a lot of Deep Staters talk shit, but most are cowards. They talk tough, but they are all bait cutters when it comes to fishing or cutting bait.”