The war with Iran has given Colonel Kurtz’s Red Hats a new purpose: defending the Republic against Iranian sleeper cells, should the terrorists activate and unleash carnage on American soil.
The ragtag but fiercely patriotic band of veterans, farmers, LEOs, and survivalists stands ready to respond to existential threats on the Homeland, a Red Hat source told Real Raw News, adding that if slumbering sleeping cells awaken, Red Hats will reply with “maximum lethality.” Since we began reporting on the Red Hat movement in 2023, its sources have said the organization consists of approximately 50,000 battletested patriots, staunch constitutionalists eager to safeguard the nation from both domestic and foreign adversaries.
Real Raw News reported about Iranian sleeper cells activating even before the United States and Israel bombed Iran. Our DHS and War Department sources told us that the now-dead Ayatollah Khamenei called for a Jihad against America once news broke that President Trump had deployed the 5th Fleet to the Persian Gulf. The ever-tardy FBI and MI-5 issued a chilling warning only yesterday, following confirmation of Khamenei’s death and the IRGC’s sworn pledge to avenge its leader’s demise.
“We beat the FBI sending men to Muslim-dense communities. We’re there or will be quickly. Maybe Kash is a good guy, I dunno, he’s an Indian and not a Christian,” a Red Hat source told us. “We’ve our own intel network, and it’s vastly superior. If we must, we’ll die for the Flag and our neighbors. The sleeper cells won’t hit strategic targets; they’re terrorists—mass civilian casualties is what they want.”
Our source wouldn’t share how Red Hats gleaned intelligence, but he said Col. Kurtz has credible evidence that Iranian madmen plan to target power grids and water treatment plants in counties that overwhelmingly voted Trump in 2024. Back chatter intel, he added, suggests that Iranian kill squads will also hit shopping venues like Walmart and Target, as well as sporting events and restaurants where MAGA-types are known to congregate.
“We’ve had years to prepare, our stockpiles are full, our guns locked and loaded. We’ve got eyes on mosques, ports, tech hubs, too. Trump did the right thing, but he poked the hornet’s nest, and we’ll bring the bug spray,” our source said. “We’ve heard that Persian Uber drivers and Uber Eats are big-time Jihadists, besides being illegal aliens.”
Critics have labeled Red Hats as vigilantes who skirt the law. Dr. Aisha Rahman, a professor of Middle East studies at liberal Georgetown University, has referred to Red Hats as radicalized nationalists. But our source says Red Hats are the first and last line of defense of average Americans, willing to tackle a perilous threat to unsuspecting citizens.
“We’ll have national patrols,” our source said. “We’ll do our best to end radical Islamic terrorism before it starts.”