Former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem has resisted orders to vacate the opulent waterfront home at Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling, where she has been living since March 2025, Real Raw News has learned.
In March 2025, a hysterical Noem reportedly told President Trump that she feared for her life because liberal leftists, anti-ICE protesters, and narco-terrorists had uncovered her address and doxed her, endangering her family, including her cuck husband Bryon, now revealed to be a crossdressing freak who fantasized about trans-gendering into a buxom shemale.
At the time, Trump took pity on Noem and offered her sanctuary at the 900-acre joint military installation in southeast DC. Per a source familiar with the situation, Noem was shown five spacious houses—each over 2,500 square feet and replete with modern amenities—but none met her irrationally exacting standards. She thumbed her nose at one with stucco walls. The second property didn’t have vaulted ceilings, so she scrunched up her face and grimaced. At the third house, she complained that too little sunlight shone through the windows. And the fourth home had too few closets to accommodate her vast wardrobe. The South Dakota-born diva who fancies herself a rancher seemed unappeasable—until she spotted a two-story waterfront home with a wraparound balcony overlooking the Potomac River.
“Is it vacant? Let me see it. I’ll live there,” Noem purportedly told a Landlease representative.
Landlease is a private real estate company that the military contracts to manage on-base housing assignments for NCOs and officers with families.
Noem, our source said, was told the property was vacant but unavailable, as it was typically reserved for the Coast Guard Commandant.
“We’ll just see about that,” a red-faced Noem told the agent.
Our source said, “I don’t know what strings Kristi Noem pulled, and guessing she went crying to President Trump. Three days later she moving in, kit and kaboodle, the whole nine yards, truckload after truckload. And everything that went into the house was just hers. I guarantee this: her family didn’t move with her. Not her kids. Not Byron. No one saw his face, not ever. Only guest she had was Corey [Lewandowski] and he had his own pad here too. You know the ‘rumors.’”
He went on, “I think Kristi broke a world record for being the most hated neighbor faster than anyone in history. She’s a Karen is the nice way to put it, I guess. Complaining about trivial shit, that’s her specialty. When she was here, and luckily that wasn’t every day, cause she was out and about Cosplaying, Uber Eats or Door Dash or one of those delivery services dropping off three bags of Sephora at the gate every day.”
Undoubtedly, Noem’s time at Anacostia-Bolling has been fruitful for her. Not every Cabinet or ex-Cabinet member receives taxpayer-subsidized housing in a domicile that would, on the open market, rent for approximately $4,200/month. Now, the military aims to annul Noem’s lease. The lease’s terms, our source said, stipulate that Noem may hold residence only while serving as the director of DHS. When Trump canned her on March 5, she became ineligible to keep the coveted home and was told she had 30 days to vacate the premises.
Instead of politely acknowledging the notice, she ignored it, and instead of packing her shit, she ordered new appliances—a range, refrigerator, and washing machine—entrenching herself. Oddly, base leadership didn’t ask Noem why she was redecorating and refurbishing the house she had to vacate in 21 days. On April 10, the day she should’ve been gone, Noem serendipitously got a 30-day extension.
“She didn’t request it, and I don’t know who approved it,” our source said. “But I’d bet that decision was made here on base; Can’t believe Trump did, not after the scandals, the alleged misuse of funds, and the crap with her husband. She responded to the second notice, I guess, cause the language was harsher.”
The eviction notice gives Noem until May 10 to leave—or face “forcible” eviction.
Responding to it, Noem furiously informed base leadership that departing Anacostia-Bolling would render her defenseless and exposed to enemies eager to vanquish her.
“I’m important,” she purportedly told 11th Operations Group Commander Kelli Moon. “If you do this, you’re putting me and my family in harm’s way. We’re both successful women, so you know this isn’t right.”
The order, Col Moon told Noem, was final and unalterable, having come down the pipe from people above her pay grade.
As of this writing, Noem shows no signs of leaving of her own volition. We will post a follow-up on May 10.
“Kristi Noem, she’s the quintessential houseguest from hell that won’t leave,” our source said.
A week ago, we reported on another self-entitled Karen still holing up at the base.