On Sunday morning, freeloader and former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem received an unwanted Mother’s Day gift: Eviction from the stately Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling waterfront home in which she had lived since early 2025.
As reported previously, Noem, whom our sources at Anacostia-Bolling described as a “screeching Karen,” “an annoyance,” and a “diva pretending to be a cowgirl,” was first told to vacate the house days after Trump fired her on March 5. She disregarded a notice to pack her belongings and leave within 30 days and then griped about receiving a second letter granting her an additional 30 days to comply or face forcible eviction. The deadline was Mother’s Day.
By sheer coincidence, Noem was off base visiting family in South Dakota, her birthplace, when three U-Hauls parked outside the house, and base security drilled the front door lock. From sunup until sundown, movers emptied the home room by room. The heaviest and bulkiest items went first—Appliances Noem had bought, her living and dining room furniture, and her bedroom set. The haulers courteously took before-and-after pictures, photographing every piece of Noem’s property so she couldn’t later accuse them of theft. They took inventory of everything. Within a walk-in closet, they found Noem’s massive shoe collection—more than 300 pairs of designer heels in every conceivable color. Two-thirds seemed unworn, a source at Anacostia-Bolling’s 11th Operations Group told Real Raw News.
“She’s got more shoes than Imelda Marcos,” he said hyperbolically.
Imelda Marcos, former First Lady of the Philippines, is famous for an extensive shoe collection totaling over 1,000 pairs, which became a global symbol of excess and corruption following her family’s ouster in 1986.
“Kristi only has a few pairs of cowboy boots, but there were what I’d call quite a few pairs of stripper boots in that closet, too,” our source added.
On a bedroom bureau was a glass jewelry box showcasing 12 Rolex watches and a $42,000 Omega Seamaster Aqua Terra. She had enough gold and diamond earrings, bracelets, and necklaces to stock a jewelry store showroom. Noem had also, and without permission, had a floor safe installed underneath a bedroom rug. For whatever reason, the safe was unlocked and held two million dollars in cash—banded $100 bills.
“Careless for someone as paranoid as Kristi,” our source said. “And odd for someone who has that kind of money to keep it home. Maybe she thought that since she was on an Armed Forces base, it was safe…I dunno. She’s spending cash like it’s going out of style. She’d better hope none of that is kickbacks from the DHS advertising campaigns she approved.”
Toward day’s end, another former administration official who still resides on base and has yet to receive an eviction order noticed the commotion and made a nuisance of herself. It was Pam Bondi, dressed in a blue tracksuit and Reebok sneakers, taking a late afternoon jog through the neighborhood. She crossed her arms and barked at the movers, demanding to know “what the hell is going on here.” A senior base official, whose name our source wouldn’t disclose, allegedly told Bondi to mind her own business and carry on, or they’d visit her house next.
“We changed the locks and security codes. All her stuff was put in a storage facility off the base. Her credentials to get back on have been revoked.”
Noem’s reaction is unknown, as she was still in South Dakota at the time of this writing.
In closing, we asked our source whether the intrusion into Noem’s home violated her 4th Amendment rights.
“It’s not her house; it’s the government’s, the taxpayers’. She had ample time to leave, but didn’t. That’s on her, not on us,” he said.