October 18, GITMO.
Janet Yellen, the condemned, had pithy comments for Adm. Crandall and a delegation of officers as she stood atop the gallows wearing a rope necklace the morning of October 18.
“I hate you. I hate you, Crandall,” Yellen said, her voice strained and hoarse. “This is our country. Do you understand me? This is our country, ours, not yours, and nothing you do will change that. Do you hear me, Crandall?
The admiral glanced up at Yellen. “I hear you, but thankfully not for much longer. And who is “ours?”
Yellen looked over her shoulder at the hangman who was inspecting the rope for frayed strands. “You’ll die too,” she told him. She told Admiral Crandall, “I won’t say his name, but you know who he is and it doesn’t matter to you because he is untouchable. When the United States and Ukraine are merged and become the United States of Ukraine, he will reveal himself.”
“At first, I thought you were just evil. But you’re batshit crazy, too,” the admiral said. “You’re as delusional as those who were on that platform before you.”
“Then you’ve probably also heard this before, Crandall: We are everywhere.”
Admiral Crandall sighed deeply, then ordered the hangman to fulfill his duty. The button was pushed, and Yellen gasped and choked and writhed as the floor beneath her feet disappeared. Somehow, the jarring drop had compressed her teeth and severed the tip of her tongue. Her blood-filled mouth gurgled, and bubbles of crimson spittle dripped down her chin. She did not die immediately because the rope was not long enough, and the drop was too short; her neck didn’t break. Instead, she gradually strangled to death over several minutes, her bulbous body twisting and thrashing.
When she finally died, she looked like Jabba the Hut after Princess Leia strangled him with an electrical cord, the rest of her split tongue dangling between open lips.
A Navy physician noted her time of death: 11:13 a.m., October 18.
Following her death, a JAG source told Real Raw News that White Hats have seized “several billion” of Yellen’s domestic assets, which will be used to fund White Hat operations and compensate persons Yellen had grievously harmed.