Rear Admiral Lia Reynolds was flabbergasted Thursday morning when JAG’s Pensacola headquarters received a telephone call from a notorious Deep Stater who said he wanted to voluntarily surrender before “Trump’s military assassins” caught and killed him. The caller identified himself as none other than the Biden regime’s disgraced Secretary of State Antony Blinken, whom White Hats have assiduously hunted over the last four years.
When the officer on duty told Adm. Reynolds, who was in Pensacola at the time, that Blinken was on the phone and willing to “conditionally surrender,” she thought he was pranking her—an amusing recognition of her promotion, as she had recently been named Deputy Judge Advocate General, serving directly beneath Vice Admiral Christopher French, Adm. Crandall’s successor.
But her junior insisted it was no joke; the caller’s voice and inflection matched Blinken’s. Adm. Reynolds instructed her subordinate to keep Blinken talking so JAG could trace the call.
The caller seemed to have expected that JAG would want to triangulate his whereabouts. He told the officer he was already in Pensacola, in a hotel room only four miles from JAG’s offices, and that he was ready to turn himself in if JAG promised in writing that he would not be executed for the crimes he had committed against the United States of America. However, he demanded assurances.
“Blinken wanted a promissory note, handwritten by President Trump, that he’d get a fair trial and, if convicted, spend no more than 20 years at ‘Club Fed’,” our source said, mentioning a derisive phrase used in North America to refer to a prison whose accommodations are seen as less severe than many other prisons. Club Fed is a pun on the “Club Med” chain of all-inclusive resorts.
Our source said an officer was talking to Adm. Reynolds on one line while negotiating with Blinken on a second. The lieutenant, per Reynolds’ instructions, told Blinken Trump was a busy man and unavailable to author conciliatory documents. But he told Blinken that admitting criminality and remorseful behavior probably would earn him some brownie points. The alternative was certain death by hanging.
Three hours later, our source said, Blinken strolled through the front doors and said, “Here I am, I’m Antony Blinken,” and handed a clerk a 20-page divulgence detailing every crime he had perpetrated on behalf of the Biden cabal, as well as personal transgressions. He claimed to have masterminded the Plandemic. He wrote that he had orchestrated the death of Jeffrey Epstein. He said he had convinced Biden to deplete the US military’s arsenal by sending weapons to Ukraine. The list of crimes to which he admitted was staggering, but the deeper JAG dug into his confession, the less it made sense. For example, he wrote he was guilty of contemplating parricide, saying that in 1979 he gave serious thought to murdering his mother because she and her husband, Blinken’s stepfather, wouldn’t gift him an Atari 2600 for Hannukah, despite his throwing countless temper tantrums. “Knife in hand, I stood at Mom’s bedside and was ready to plunge it into her chest as she slept. I really don’t know what stopped me. All I wanted from that bitch was an Atari,” he had written.
While childhood psychopathy may be a central trait among youth that rise to Deep State leadership, JAG had no interest in whatever animus Blinken had for his mother.
Our source said alarm bells sounded after investigating agents read a paragraph in which Blinken claimed to have had an extramarital affair with Myanmar leader Aung San Suu Kyi in 1985. Blinken, born in 1962, was 15 and living with his mother in Parris at the time of the alleged tryst; Aung San Suu Ki, who became State Counselor of Myanmar in 2016, was 10 years older than Blinken and living in Rangoon, British Burma in 1985. The two had not met until late 2016 when then-Deputy Secretary of State Blinken visited Aung San Suu Kyi on official business in Naypyitaw, Burma.
“Things started making sense when he was medically evaluated, something we do with any Deep State agent we take custody of,” our source said. “We quickly found that all we had was another Blinken clone, and a malfunctioning one at that. It had key characteristics—namely no genitals.”
Our source added that White Hats have identified three “generations” of Deep State clones, the earliest of which have no genitals and “live” for seven years unless remotely terminated prior to their expiry date. Second-generation clones have a shorter “life span”—approximately three years—but have genitalia. Third-generation clones, our source said, seem to have a variable “life span” but lack molars.
“What we had was a first-generation clone that somehow outlived its expiration date and had nothing but faulty memories. We can’t tell if that’s the design or if the cloners implanted those memories. It had no real information of value to us. Admiral Reynolds ordered it terminated, and when we told it, it got confused,” our source said.
“I’m a clone? That’s laughable. I’m not a clone. I’m the one who decides who gets cloned,” the Blinken clone reportedly said.
“In case you haven’t noticed, you have no dick,” a JAG agent told him. “And your memories are like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle all scrambled up. I wish you were Blinken, but you’re just a construct. You should’ve self-terminated by now, and we don’t’ know why you haven’t, but we’ll do it for you.”
“I’m Antony Blinken,” the clone protested, and was terminated early Friday morning.
It was the third Blinken clone White Hats were aware of.
“There sure are a lot of Blinkens out there,” our source said. “We wonder why he’s been cloned so many times.”
Other stories on Blinken clones.