Former Vice President Michael “pedophile” Pence was a terrible Catholic and an even worse born-again Christian.
As he stood atop the gallows Saturday morning, he sought not Christ’s absolution but salvation from a demonic deity whose name other condemned Deep Staters had uttered moments before their timely demise. Pence, faced with the ineluctable certitude of death, whispered, “Beelzebub, help me,” after armed MPs steered him toward the hangman’s rope.
In theological sources, predominantly Christian, Beelzebub is another name for Satan. He is known in demonology as one of the seven deadly demons or seven princes of Hell. Beelzebub represents gluttony and envy and is depicted as an enormous, voracious, monstrous fly.
Pence was not the first Deep Stater faced with death to worship the fell creature. In April 2024, GITMO staff discovered an intricately carved figurine of Beelzebub in a cell that housed Victoria Nuland. An investigation into how she got it yielded no results.
No devout Christian would ask the “Lord of the Flies” for salvation, Irene Alexander, a professor of theology at Dallas University, told Real Raw News.
Then again, what authentic, God-fearing Christians have unshakable pedophilic propensities?
Pence was as inauthentic as they came, and if he feared damnation, he was masking that fear with the skill of a professional poker player. His demeanor, in fact, was a sharp divergence from how he acted during the conclusion of his tribunal, when he freaked out and started shouting, “Don’t you understand, it wasn’t me!” JAG chalked it up to theatrically, not demonic possession or emerging alternate personalities.
Were Pence a genuine Christian, he would’ve accepted the presence of a Navy chaplain and recitation of Last Rites. But he refused the offer and did not want to speak words of contrition. Instead, he entrusted his fate to Beelzebub.
Below him, flanked by two aides, Rear Admiral Lia Reynolds spoke: “Michael Pence, a military commission has found you guilty of treason, seditious conspiracy, and horrific crimes against God’s children. You’ve been sentenced to die by hanging. I offer you a final chance to unburden yourself of anything you want to say, as it is your last chance.”
“You speak of God? Your only God is Donald Trump, a mortal convicted of 34 felonies and a serial misogynist. Take a good, hard look in a mirror tonight, Admiral, so you can see who and what you really are,” Pence said.
The hangman standing beside Pence placed a gag on Pence’s mouth and a cloth sack over his head. He then lowered the noose and slipped it around Pence’s neck.
When Adm. Reynolds gave the order, the hangman pushed the button that opened the door beneath Pence’s feet. Three minutes later, a Navy physician said Pence was dead.