As President Donald J. Trump roasted the liberal fake news media at last Friday’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner at D.C.’s Waldorf Astoria Hotel, the United States Secret Service arrested a suspicious Muslim male carrying a paper grocery bag filled with children’s dolls, Real Raw News has learned.
As Trump obliterated CNN journalist Kaitlan Collins, comparing her to transgender Bud Light spokesperson Dylan Mulvaney, the Middle Eastern man was stopped by Secret Service agents near the hotel’s service entrance at 1100 Pennsylvania Avenue and 12th Street NW. A Secret Service source told Real News that the suspicious person, who was wearing traditional Muslim attire and sandals, had been pacing about the area and mumbling Arabic curses for several minutes before the agents stopped him and demanded his identification.
“With all the Muslim threats against POTUS, can’t be too careful,” our source said. “Iran and the IRGC want our president dead. He must be protected at all costs; MAGA depends on it.”
He was not Iranian, though, and his passport identified him as Omar Ahmed Al-Farsi of Saudi Arabia. He had entered the United States on July 21 via Dulles International Airport and was staying at the State Plaza Hotel, about a mile from the Waldorf Astoria. He told agents he had to get inside the Waldorf Astoria to speak to President Trump about a matter of international importance, our source said.
The agents asked to inspect the brown grocery bag Al-Farci clutched tightly in his hands. Inside the bag, agents found approximately a dozen toy dolls of various types, including fashion dolls, action figures, and baby dolls, some still bearing thrift-store price tags. Out of an abundance of caution, the agents detained Al-Farsi, bringing him and his package to the DC Central Detention Facility for further questioning. Per our source, a bomb-sniffing dog brought to the scene gave no alert, and subsequent X-ray and chemical swabs confirmed the items had no explosives, electronics, drugs, or hazardous materials.
Nevertheless, agents considered Al-Farsi “weird” and were determined to figure out why he had a bag of dolls and was so desperate to talk with President Trump.
It turned out that Al-Farsi wasn’t a terrorist but rather a lovestruck weirdo with obvious mental health impairments. When interrogated, he admitted his “matter of international importance” was to ask Trump for his granddaughter’s hand in marriage. The dolls, Al-Farsi said, were gifts for Kai Trump, the president’s 19-year-old granddaughter. Al-Farsi is 51, according to his documentation.
“I must have her. I love Kai,” he reportedly told Secret Service agents. “This is my present to her and I will offer Trump a proper dowry once my family gets its land back. Kai Trump must be my matrimonial bride.”
Kai Trump did not attend the event.
Al-Farsi is still in federal custody. Should we learn more, we’ll update.